That...point

you know the one. where you look at your self and go 'blegh when did THAT happen?'

i hit that point about a week ago. putting on jeans only to realise not only did i have a muffin top, it was super sized. i worked out i'm around 167cm tall and lets just say i'm above 90kg - not by much but still. and i hit that point, the wall. the end of my cliff and went.

FUCK IT and made myself look hard at who i was in the mirror. even if it did cut off my legs. i need to be a fit healthy mumma who can run after my boys and kick (albe it spazzd out) the footy around. and not become my mother. she was a good women, but sadly over weight and never really had the abilty to keep up with myself more so then my sister. she also chose to 'live' though me when i was full on into krarte, i quit when she was pressureing me to attempt to get my red belt. but one day i *will* go back and get it. i like being able to kick people in the head.
-got the best look from a guy when i was 35kws UTD with DJ. he was a shit head to be honest and was going on about me being soo young to have a baby and how stupid i was to be married (this was at DH's best mates birthday) and i can vividly remember smiling at him and saying "going back 6 months ago i'd have been able to kick you in the head, but granted i'm rather preggo now i'd be able to smash your lower ribs :-)" he kinda ran off after that, he deserved it though.

SO now, i sit here...and go "yep im going to lose this weight" and i will. i'll need to save some $$ for a) zumba (DIY at home, dont have the $$ for a gym) and also for one of them there ab cerial pro thingys. they work - a friend of mine used one.

...now...to sit down and re-write healthy meals for the week.

....i can do this and i will.

.....i may just need the whole 7 of you to kick my ass and tell me i gotta lose the wieght. not for me. but for my boys!