MIA

The last three weeks have been nuttier then normal in this house.

We got the dog, tigger. Lovely dog. But sadly too much for us. He was a stray thus the idea of comming when called...wasnt his strong point. He also needed to be with some one all the time. We left him alone for 3hours he cried the whole time the poor thing. So we sold him, to a man with a female stagX. It broke my heart and still hurts. I grew up with a dog, and still want that for my boys. In a few months when dh finaly gets ajob we'll look again for a 'new' puppy. Not one thats an rspca one as tigger needed so much time, time that im lacking. While a new pup will as well it should also mold into our family life, which is up and down like dogs balls with dj mainly.

We also last week ventured into the big smoke; melbourne for a trip to the childrens for an MRI for dj.it came back 'normal' which is good. So now its just a matter of getting everything else going. We have our 'key worker' and a physio comming out tomorrow. Which is good. Dj is hopefully over the shit house cold he had. Which ment 4 days of 'high alert' for dh and I waiting for a fit thankfully which never came. The joya of angelman syndrome a weaker immune system.

Today I manged to smash the glass on our heater. Im still angry I tried to catch the wood with the door. So dh is getting that fixed along with applying for a job with an angancy in the next massive rural city north of us. So with any lucky he'll get one and go from there. He needs to. So we have ahope of making friends out side our slice of paridice.

D next door hasnt been around as much, with him working and all. I kinda miss that, as be sides him I see the old man k and dh, thats it. Kind of depressing thinking about it. Hopefully soon i'll go to a playgroup or something and meet other mums. Mind you D might come over soon as his ex gf is almost 20wks and finding out the sex...his current one has noo idea...should be interesting.

As for me i've had a rough trot. Selfharm included. But D now has my blades, after going through me about it. And reminding me I have two kids now its not about me I handed them over...dh found out later and wasnt too happy but we where fighting badly at the time...i've also gotta call and see about counceling...there are somethings that I need a 'safe' place to talk about.
That being said I also nees a gp so I can find out my options with regard to long term contrispetion. As im 22 I doubt i'd be up for tube tying or a like so an iud or merina or implation would be it. As my body goes FUCK YOU pill after 6 to 9 months. And with my cycle back to 21 freaking days, im over auntflow alredy! But again we'll see as I dont want to stop feeding vic til he's ready; ya know?

Now to go and wash some clothes and put away the rest...and some how stop beating myself up over the heater.