mothers, familys...moving

my 21st went ok. kind of. few hiccups on the night. but all in all ok.

it was the fall out thats had me and DH seething. well me more so then him.

my 21st wasnt a huge lavish affair as my sisters was two years ago. DH and I didnt have the $$ around and also im not one to get all gussied up for my own birthday - save that for every one elses plus being 28weeks up the duff makes things harder again! but i wouldnt change it for the world.

the fall out would be the lack of support offered to DH with the planning. my sister was given the task of doing a speech. easy done, she's just finished 5 years of law...doing her articals and what not. but could she mange a slide show/speech for me? nope! she failed to listen, or maybe hear that the DVD plaier could only read photos - not friggin' power point. so her speech was a half assed thing in the end *grump* she couldn't even do it with just the photos running though it. a good friend of mine made a DVD, yes a DVD of photos she had plus video DH had given her and music. she had me in tears over it. she'd put in alot of effort - having watched DH make one for her 21st 4 years ago i know how long they take. my fathers speech was bloody short too along the lines of "i cant add much more, so although Dani has had the key to the door for 8 or 9 years now, this is one her grand father made and i finished" that was it. no stories, nothing funny. just "meh" and i felt flat. i made a speech but lost is mid-way though it as i realised driving down to the hall it was raining. just like i did at my sisters 21st and my wedding. the same kind of light on-off rain that came down when we scattered by uncles ashes. ohh and the beer fridge died, so to me he was showing us he was still around.

i found out after the fact my mother "commented" (read: bitched) about the food. when i cooked the whole friggin' lot on my own. yep it wasnt stinking hot. BUT i was told no one would be able to turn the pie warmer on so i had to really wait...6 loads of hot food (around 100pcs per load) done in 1.5hours? i think thats a good effrot. my mother commented "the decotrations look nice" not "thanks Dani's DH for the decorations you did a good job on picking them out" nothing. yet she wanted all the glory for the cake (bought). she also found a the dress i wore as well. when i asked her how much it was she told me. i said i'd pay her for it. and she said nothing. i gave her the money and she took it :( i know i shouldnt be angry/upset bout it. but i cant help it. she bought/paied for so much stuff for my sisters birthday and me? well she honestly spent i'd guess $250 at the most. but i should have seen that one comming - she told DH it was "his problem" after we got married. you can see what kind of mother she is though.
i'm trying to keep thing nice and easy between us but i admit i struggle. over easter we went to the open range zoo. it was a good day. minus the fact DH and I rushed there, rushed to go on a tour of the zoo and then my mother had the balls to say several times "DJ is nannas boy aren't you, yes he is. nannas boy" *seeth* which annoies me i dont mind once or maybe twice but constantly for a 5mins? what am i ment to do, other then grit my teeth and watch the smoke come out of my ears?

but my mother has never been "good with me" as such. i'm the slower one out of my sister and I in terms of learning. "visual posessing disability" was the label given to me. meaning i read one thing, write another and spell it in my own cooky way. FUN. maths + me = ..... i joke im numericly dislesic as i just dont get it..but i'll blow my own horn here when i say my spoken communication is bloody good. but other then that i drown. so when i've spent my school years head butting a wall my sister excelled, which is wonderful. she never understood failure until year 12 and missing out on a law placement. i looked at her and said "stop crying, there is more then one way to skin this cat, im sure they'll have a back door open" and i got yelled at for being some what up front. she's now a lawyer. well almost. i did VCAL in year 11 and 12, i worked two jobs and went to tafe. yet some how this is minnmal, as she never understood why i was so tired. when i turned 18 and started driving (thanks to DH teaching me as both my mum and dad where "too busy" to do that) one night i got bloody tired so i fell sleep on the coutch at DHs place (was my B/f at the time lol) and i got a call at 11pm at night "where are you" (angry mothers voice) "at DH's" (semi groggy voice) "you should be home by now, i thought you where dead, its late you cant drive late at night you've had your P's 2 weeks" me- "well i was bloody tired, so i slept. rather then falling asleep while driving and ending up under a truck. which would not be nice for any one. plus you told me when i was 18 i would be able to do what i want" mum: "you should have come home earlier" me: "how? i was asleep since 8pm" thats the kind of fight we'd have. yet my sister could be out till the early hours of the morning and that was fine, even mum knew she was most likely blind drunk. but i play it safe and slept before i drove and i got yelled at. and lectured for the next week over it. needless to say when i was 18 and 3months i moved out of home.


thinking of all of this. along with what happend with my 21st has spaked DH and I to do something, we're really thinking about having a "tree change" and moving to my dads home town in south Gippsland. that'd mean we're an hour and a bit away from most of my family, but we'd also be able to have some land...i'd get the dog or two i want plus some sheeps and maybe a goat or two. and of corse chikens (depending on the size of the land and if the RSPCA have any that need homes) DH and i also want our kids to have the life we never had. the abity to run around like nutters in a back yard with out worring about what next door think. plus DH wants a paddioc bomb to thrash and the kids to be able to learn to control a car before they get on the 'open roads' as such. which i dont mind. i also like the idea of having clean air and a veggie patch. we've set a time limet as well. moved by the time DJ is 4. gives us time to save some $$ up plus we get to knock off some more of the morgage on this house. Ohh and get our old holden to the point that yes, it wouldnt pass a road worthy BUT it could be driven to the town we're thinking of...
now...we just have to make it work...and we will...