time flys too fast!

sitting here, i realised (for about the third time today!) that in 11ish weeks DH and I will have a new born!

excited- tick
scared- dubble tick
happy- tick, tick, tick


DJ will be eather 16 or 17 months old when bundy arrives. two under 18 months, will it work? yep. why can i say that? i have no other choice! DH worries about how i'll handle to little ones. i dont. just like DJ on his own you take each day as it comes, embrase the good and cry over the bad. but it works. we had a rough start with DJ, the week in SCN with a chest infection followed by jundice then found out he had toung tie AND reflux! spent 4 days in hospital with failure to thrive - i almost lost my mind at that point. i hit a wall and just slid.on.down it. i blamed myself for it all, for not fighting hard enough, not pushing myself. but now? i blame THEM the nurses and the pead's i delt with. i'm sorry if this offends, but they sucked more balls then a whore on a friday night. they changed the rythem i was in - medical reson or not - you DO NOT WAKE a sleeping baby, you do not take the baby away from their mother and tell them "to sleep" needless to say - the pead on day 4 got handed half of my mind, as i didnt care what they're scales said my son was NOT happy little man and they failed - epicly- and seeing what he wanted. they went off numbers not HIM. ass hats. hevean help them if bundy needs to go into the pead ward - i will NOT be walked over my child will NOT leave my side and NO they will not give them a bottle to make it "simpler" or time my feeds. stuff that. and honestly? fuck em too.

i've been thinking about the birth of bundy a little more now. how i'd like it to go. and i'm hoping like DJ i'll be able to birth in the water again. hopefully not spend 31 hours in labour and pushing for an hour and 20mins. but the same relaxed - faith in my body and no one can tell me other wise type birth. it'll be interesting to see how DH fairs, he freaked out last time when i went though trainsition - clearly never listened to me when i explained what i'd turn into - i guess he never fingerd that i'd turn into a banchee- wall hitting women. but hey - how would he react with a 7lb15oz baby comming down though HIS pelvis? he didnt get to see DJ's head birthed as it was underwater and i wouldnt budge from how i was sitting. maybe this time he'll see a little more then a "puff" of blood in the water as he described it.

but before i get to that part i have to get over the whole Glucose Tollarance Test (GTT) tomorrow. not looking forward to three blood tests in three hours im bad enough with one. yay for being a pin cusion. but the upside? after it i have a block of hazle nut chocolate waiting for me...i sooo want it now. but i cant have it. after the test i will. as last time i ate a block of chocolate 24hrs before the test and that can stuff it up - so the lady who took my blood told me that could happen - and it did. thanks to our muss cat!

muss is doing better now. all stiches out, new diet hashed out - just waiting on the delivery of the cat food. he's on sciance diet K/D (Kidney Diet) as the stones that he had in his baldder are best controled by this one. they're sadly the type that can come back - but every 3 months we have to take him in for a urine sample and every 12 months an xray to make sure no more are forming, and if they are flush them out. but at least for the time being no more AB's for him or kitty pandol. as i was EVIL for giving them to him and he's only just starting to talk to me- lol. but if he's better its worth it. seeing as the last few nights have been really cold having him on the bed has made it alot warmer. he's also started 'fighting' (well play fighting) with his sister (our female) so that to me says it all. he's all good and ready to go - but i'm still yelling at him if he looks like jumping the fence. untill his scar is fully healed. he'll be in our back yard - which is pritty exciteing for a muss cat- we have the top of a tree we had cut down about a month ago in the middle - the perfict stalking grounds for...bugs! ..or mice...or both.