2011, you suck

so far 2011 has been honestly the shit-est most heart brakin soul shattering year that i can remember.

january - a BB girl lost her sister only to pass on her self 10 days later. another BB girl lost her DH. Dj had a scary ass fit that almost broke me into sand sized granuals.

feb- a dear friend of mine has birthed an angel into this world. i dont type this on BB as i dont know if she wants people to know. i dont type her name for the same reason. my heart is breaking for her and her family. its bullshit and its WRONG beyond words. i want to kick and scream and make it not so. i want to go there and hold her and make it all better but i cant fucking do that. i cant ease the pain i cant make it go away. its CRAP. its always the good people who suffer. ALWAYS. i wish i could scream and kick something to make it better. i wish that this women didn't feel the pain of empty arms. most of all i want her dream of having this baby come true.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

and to top it off tomorrow they're attemoting an MRI on DJ. again if this fails then we go to the bigger hospital in june.

FUCK YOU 2011. you fucking suck.